But by removing all the uncertainty and tension, sex moves from being 'charged' to comfortable. Outrageously good sex usually has some factors we think of as 'negative': guilt, rule-breaking, fear of being caught, forbidden elements, being selfish about our pleasure, doing something we know our friends would be horrified by (well, we like to think so anyway).
This type of sex usually happens in sex-for-sex's-sake relationships, one-night-stands, affairs and during risky sex with someone we really shouldn't be with. There are some couples out there who manage to balance intimacy and excitement, getting the best of both worlds.
And they haven't had to compromise monogamy or pool their friend's car-keys for a spot of old-fashioned swinging to introduce these elements into a loving relationship.
All they've done is upped the 'kink' factor - and if you want great long-term sex, that's what you need to do.
Yes, it is shopping (which explains a lot), but it's also because men see things like vibrators as 'replacements' rather than additions to a sex life. Sex toys are as the name suggests – things to play with for a bit of fun! Go online and have a browse through the various categories, especially 'couple toys'.The best sex encounters in our lives usually aren't with people we loved for a long time.